Dear friends near & far , strangers known & unknown , humans both alien & home :
I’m taking this digital space to begin to unravel my voice & project it inside a neutral platform that will not judge nor demand of me - to take up too little or tell me I am too much or should remain hidden
what is voice ?
what is a stage ?
what is real , radical , & wild [ love ] & what is a charade or masked , pontificated truth ?
what is courage [ vulnerability ] & what is dressed-up fear wearing commodified strength ?
these are questions I will be quietly & reflectively exploring in a series of blogs here on my website . I will do my very best to remain open & keep each blog post anchored inside my personal physical experiences as a being living through these overarching common human stories of disbandment vs home , voicebox vs boxed-voice , stages as safely contained spaces vs strictly constrained places , binary actions vs non binary intraactions , digital glitches as fissures for freedom vs exits for escapism , etc , etc .
Currently off social media & generally remaining quite quiet in my professional life due to a personal experience that has entirely ‘cracked me open’ , I wanted to use this space as an opportunity to express that which i’ve been keeping hidden inside myself since the completion of my final Scroll in 2017 - because of fear that my presence may cause disruption , or rupture the other’s carefully curated sense of self and identity or that my perspective or voice was worth little in comparison to the other .
While I will be exploring very personal experiences through these blog posts , I will also remain sensitive to the individuals in my stories - as this is irrelevant anyways - since the overarching themes I experience are actually quite common and I believe many will resonate with them . Therefore - names , dates , & particularities are obliterated - only archetypes , timelessness , & ideals will remain in my stories … at the same time , I will remain naked in my expression of these experiences ~ so that “you” [ whoever “you” , dear reader are ] can perhaps find a piece of your own making through the shattered pieces of mine : now being woven whole ….
[ & also because - tis the month for pride ]
Recently , there was a remake made of my favorite Disney movie - the little mermaid . In the original story written by Hans Christian Andersen , the Little Mermaid remains nameless , as does the Sea Witch , the Prince , and the other characters … Disney gave them names and they became caricatures of their former selves . Andersen kept them without so the reader could experience themselves more easily through the characters of the tale .
Similarly ; as a very young child I played with & loved my faceless , shapeless , bendable , genderless cloth dolls & when my dear aunt gave me plastic barbies I graciously accepted but was secretly so horrified by them - I cut off their hair , ripped off their heads , and shoved them under the bathroom sink . I did this with the bathroom door locked , and never told the story to anyone till an adult .
Andersen’s Little Mermaid has of course many interpretations & all are experienced as true by the reader ( as is the magick of myth or fairytale ) but the one I find the most interesting is that the Little Mermaid is an allegorical love story between Andersen & the man he loved [ Edvard Collin ]- beyond the hard evidence through the letters exchanged between the two - this makes the most sense to me - as it is a story around “forbidden” love , a strong desire to transform identity ( gender~ ie. fishtail to human ) in order to be acceptable , loss & sacrifice of voice in order to fit into societal norms , etc etc .
My story is similar . And I intend to use this blog space to share my hidden [ underwater/subtextual ] tale [ tail ] with all of you through my musings & artwork I am currently brewing . Much is happening and i’m excited to share my continued VALISE wanderings here …
sea you in the waves soon ,
Gabrielle Victoria Meyerowitz
